Stirrpot
by Hashi-Hashi
Summary: Little snippets of the daily lives of our five favourite soldiers. When Zack adopts a snake, They all go to the beach, Hojo is drunk in the labs and Angeal tries to get them all to eat their greens.


**A**pples were genesis's obsession. Every time they went somewhere Angeal had to remember to pack Apples for Genesis, otherwise he'd go off in a mood and he'd have nothing to bribe him into acting sociable with.

**B**ees were a personal fear of Sephiroth's. The little stingy things reminded him of injections, unexpected and nasty plus very, very painful. He'd been almost forced to admit his fear to a goading Zack, when Lazard had stepped in and turned the puppy's attention to something else.

**C**loud loved **c**hocolate ice-cream. Zack loved chocolate ice-cream. Angeal and Genesis loved watching Zack and cloud eat chocolate ice-cream.

Angeal knew everything about his puppy, but what most people didn't realise is the he meant everything, including when Zack needed his special **d**inosaur after another night of horrific dreams.

**E**arrings were banned from Shinra for a reason. That reason being that dealing with ripped earlobes after training did not make their list of priorities, especially not when their top poster boy Sephiroth had to have half his ear replaced after a sparring match with Genesis Rhapsodos.

Cloud screamed. It stared. Cloud screamed. It hopped. Cloud jumped. It continued moving. "Sephiroth! It is going to eat me!" Sephiroth ran into the room, dived heroically towards his lover. Then he froze at the last moment. "Cloud…there's a **f**rog."

"Yes. Kill the frog." Cloud jumped up and down, obviously pointing at the killer frog.

"…" Sephiroth watched Cloud for a moment before sweeping the frog up and dropping it over the side of the balcony.

In an instant he had his little blonde lover attached to him. "So brave. So bold. I love you….but wash your hands before you touch me."

None of his lovers ate **g**reen things. Letting his head hit the kitchen table Angeal tried yet again to force asparagus down Genesis's throat. "Come on Gen! Really, seriously, you cannot rely on mako to keep you healthy."

Cloud put all of his green vegetables on Sephiroth's plate and swapped them over for potatoes and tomatoes. Angeal fixed him with a glare until the blonde meekly swapped them back.

Sephiroth huffed and poked at the food. "Mako is the colour green. That's plenty bad enough. There is no reason to eat anymore."

Zack poked his fork at Angeal. "Why don't you eat yours?"

There was a beat of silence. Then Angeal smirked. "I am perfectly healthy I don't need to eat that."

At the beach Angeal slathered sunscreen all over his blonde lover, refusing to allow him onto the beach without being covered from head to toe in sun protection. "You mother would kill me if I let you get sunburnt. I've met her cloud; I know what she's like."

"But this **H**at! Really Angeal, it's so…weird." Cloud tugged it off his head again, his unruly spikes jumping back up in its sudden freedom.

Angeal glared and pulled the hat back down on Cloud's head. "That hat will stay on."

Zack looked over from his position on Sephiroth's shoulder. "Cloudy, you got enough shade there?" He chuckled.

Sephiroth swung around, letting Zack fall to the ground behind him. The general nodded his approval to Angeal. Cloud glared at them both and pulled Zack down to their umbrella on the shore.

Hojo hummed. "**I**ntestines, intestines, intestines~ Sephiroth yourrrrr intestines are mine!" Cloud sat very still and watched open mouthed as Hojo pulled his lover apart piece by piece. Long tubes of wrinkled, collapsing skin oozed out of his stomach, weird clear slime sloshed on the table, sitting on top of the blood that was already there.

Hojo looked over and gave Cloud an appreciative look. "I bet your intestines are nice and long. Probably not as long as Sephiroth's, but long enough for me!"

That was all it took. Cloud was sick all over the floor and had to be carried out by Tseng who had carefully watched the whole affair through the security monitors.

Zack was not **J**ack. Zack was not Jackson. He groaned and dropped his head onto Angeal's shoulder in frustration. Yet another award had been given to him…in the wrong name. Even his mother had taken to calling him Jack. He was Zack!

**K**oalas were a strange fascination of Angeal's. The tough, cuddly creatures reminded him of someone but he could never think who. They were protective of their young, or partners. They were lazy, but capable of some amazing things, like climbing 100 feet high trees carrying babies' long distances with little water.

Angeal admired them in a way. But in another way, he really just wanted to see if their fur was soft.

**L**ollipops were permanently banned. Every time one of the uke's got hold of one, there was an unprecedented mess to clean up. Pillows missing, clothes torn, carpets ruined, windows smashed, walls painted. Things got messy. Very messy and Cloud and Zack were never able to help with the clean-up. In fact they usually were part of the clean-up.

**M**others were strange things. Zack's was relaxed and far to open for anyone's comfort. She'd discuss Zack's bowel movements in public, his strange puberty habits even her husband's libido. It probably explained why Zack was immune to his lovers' attempts to embarrass him.

Cloud's was over protective, when she had found out that he was dating for boys she'd called up Lazard and had him tell her everything about them. Shed even managed to get personal files off Tseng and have them hand delivered by Reno and Rude to her house. It hadn't been long till she'd forced them all into visiting. Luckily for Cloud she'd loved Zack, babying him just as much she did Cloud. She and Angeal had gotten along well, trading tips on how to get boys to eat vegetables. Sephiroth and Genesis had spent most of their time avoiding the advances of Cloud's mother, refusing to be babied the way that Zack and Cloud were.

Angeal practically shared his mother with Genesis the two were so close. Angeal's mom always pulled both of her boys into an awkward face to boobs hug. Now that Sephiroth was in the picture she'd learnt to widen her arms and reach just that little bit further to fit him in too. She and Zack's mom got along really well openly discussing every detail about their sex lives with each other usually over coffee in central midgar, yelling over the noise of everyone else.

Sephiroth's of course didn't exist, but he never seemed to mind – especially not with all the extra attention he got from Angeal's mother.

Science didn't go well with Sephiroth's view of the world. Science was an evil thing full of nucleuses and homologous things. It was a strange, strange world. Most times when it was combined with Hojo it was an incredibly dangerous thing. One that should not be approved of no matter what the circumstance.

Sephiroth stared at the **N**otes he had stolen from Hojo's lab. What was nymbroniaculuar?

"**O**pen the door Zack." Angeal huffed and swung the groceries up the stairs in a last ditch effort to bring all the shopping bags through the apartment at once. He'd been dreading getting the door open when his **p**uppy had walked past.

Zack stared at the amount that his mentor had managed to carry, but then ran to the door after Angeal started to frown at him. He held it open as Angeal managed to drag everything through the door, with no help from Genesis as always.

**Q**uills were old fashioned, Angeal was old fashioned. Therefore he could write with a quill. Quill's made him look cool, he liked looking cool. But when his mother sent him an email…Angeal felt out of date.

Genesis glared at the groups of cadets. "You had all better run very fast little boys. Or you are going to be burnt so much you won't be able to move for a week."

Cloud was still curled up on the ground, **r**uby **r**ed bruises slowly turning purple. Genesis picked him up, letting his red leather envelop hit little lover as he rubbed and kissed the bruises on the skin.

"Cloud, you were sick. You can't go out like this; you'll just make things worse." He scooped the blonde up and continued to rebuke him for leaving the safety of their apartment.

Zack grinned, he had a pet **s**nake. How cool was that! Of course Angeal would freak if he found out, but it was special he couldn't just let him go. He'd found Snake in his bed when he went out on a mission and decided to keep him.

He wrapped the snake around his neck and marched proudly into shinra HQ. Then he was stopped by Tseng, who swiftly removed it, pushed him into the horrified arms of Angeal and walked off.

Zack watched in horror as his sweet little pet was released back into the wild, much the relief of Angeal.

**T**ifa couldn't believe her eyes. What was she seeing? Cloud was gay…with four boys.

Her little, shy hometown boy, was not only openly gay, but was in a five some. Tifa rubbed her eyes and stared some more.

A tall pretty girl with a long brown braid came up behind her giggling. "They are cute aren't they? So absorbed in each other, to think at first they were too shy to ask that little blonde out." She swept her long braid behind her back. "I had to do it all for them…you must be the girl Cloud was so worried about." She looked her up and down quickly. "I think he made the right choice." She turned swiftly, leaving Tifa standing there awkwardly looking at the group of boys swarming over her cloud.

**U**mbrellas were awesome. Everyone should love umbrellas. Cloud loved umbrellas, Zack loved umbrellas, and Sephiroth loved umbrellas even Genesis loved umbrellas. But they all really, really loved Angeal who remembered to bring umbrellas.

Their eldest lover huffed and handed them out amongst the group, trying his best not to laugh at their relieved faces.

"Roses are red, **V**iolets are blue. Time is special, just when I'm with you." Genesis leant forward and dropped a light kiss on Sephiroth and Angeal's lips.

Angeal's inner country boy slipped out and he pulled his friend into a rough hug, holding him close. "I'm not good at poetry, but I feel the same for you."

Sephiroth smiled watching them before picking up all the bags and holding the door open when they left. After all, for a military man, actions always spoke louder than words.

Everyone said that Zack and Cloud's spikes defied gravity. But what comes up must come down. So when water touched those spikes, the both of them looked like drowned rats. It only took one mission to have the ultimate hair lover, Sephiroth all over them, fussing and fixing everything that he could. Then he pushed them both to Genesis who collapsed on the floor laughing, dying at the fact that the famous duo had lost their fame to some **w**ater. Angeal at least was more sympathetic and towel dried their hair before sitting them on the couch with a blanket to live down their shame.

It was no surprise to anyone, when Cloud and Zack took to getting Angeal to sew hoods onto the backs of their shirts.

"**X**-chromosome, honestly Genesis didn't Hollander teach you anything in the labs!?" Sephiroth pointed at the blob under the microscope.

Genesis shrugged. "I was usually screaming in a corner and bleeding out an intestine." Angeal nodded in agreement.

Sephiroth shook his long silver hair in disbelief, "And to think all the lessons I was forced into by that old coot."

"**Y**eah well, at least he doesn't sing. Hollander used to make us join in his sing-a-longs."

Angeal patted Genesis's shoulder sympathetically while Sephiroth tilted his head. "Is that why I used to hear the SpongeBob square pants song late at night."

"Don't ask Seph, just don't ask."

"You didn't. You shouldn't. But you did. **Z**achary Fair is in trouble. Why does this not surprise me?" Angeal groaned and flopped onto the couch holding yet another demerit slip for his wayward student.

"I guess it doesn't surprise you because it happens a lot." Zack tilted his head. "That's probably a good thing. You'd be a lot angrier if you were surprised. Probably punish me or something…"

"No sex for a week." Angeal pushed his puppy onto the couch. "Maybe then you'll think of something other than trying to seduce Sephiroth in lessons."

"Zachary Fair and Cloud strife are in a relationship with Genesis Rhapsodos, Sephiroth, and Angeal Hewley." Kunsel leant over to Reno gossiping in his ear. It wasn't often that he got a chance to gossip with the Turks, but when he did there was a whole lot of dirt to dish out.

Reno grinned, "Really? I swore something was up when I saw Sephiroth and Genesis in the same apartment, like nothing was broken or burned. Angeal wasn't there either."

Rude watched his partner silently through his sunglasses. Kunsel ran an eye over him checking to see if he was annoyed yet, deciding that he wasn't he continued. "Dude, now the blonde is in first class they're all over each other. I swear they are going to come out once that kid has his fan base all set up. Can you even imagine the fan girls when they find out?"

Reno paused. Thought about what was said. Then he grinned. "There's gonna be a lot of screaming and blood noses."

Rude sighed and refused to bash his head against the table as his little red haired partner ran off, no doubt to start the riot that would be the revealing of the little five some relationship.


End file.
